Life and Times of Cadet Toyoda Vol. 3

Lately ROTC has gotten to me. I figured it would be so cool to represent the Army by wearing those cool digital ACU uniforms. But in all honesty I feel like a number. Sure I'm different only to the "civilians" because they aren't wearing ACU's. But when I'm with the other cadets I don't feel like myself. Like I'm a whole another person.

You see the Army is like a typical religion. There are dogmas you are encouraged follow such as the Soldier's creed:

I am an American Soldier.

I am a Warrior and a member of a team.

I serve the people of the United States, and live the Army Values.

I will always place the mission first.

I will never accept defeat.

I will never quit.

I will never leave a fallen comrade.

I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills.

I always maintain my arms, my equipment and myself.

I am an expert and I am a professional.

I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy, the enemies of the United States of America in close combat.

I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life.

I am an American Soldier.

And like any other religion there is rules and regulations that you must follow. Now I would post the decrees but its about 10x's longer than the Soldiers Creed. Don't get me wrong I don't mind the yelling and the whole "breaking you down to build you back up". I had plenty of that shit at home. Especially living with a latina mother. I certainly don't mind the physical challenge either. In fact I love it.

I'm fine mentally and great physically. It just emotionally. This "religion" that I am a part of is like a prison. I'm not used following religion or rules. Just do whatever you want as long it doesn't bother others or yourself and to love others.

Dancing, fighting, and music (odd combination... I know) makes up my life. Those three things are who I am. I live a breath those things. Its Sarah. Dancing is my creativity, expression, my craziness. Fighting flows through my blood because my ancestors were samurai (no joke), it allows me to vent and show my true colors. Music is my soul. That's all there is to it. People identify me by this.

But under that uniform I'm Toyoda. I feel the metamorphosis as I put each heavy boot on. The belt, the jacket even tying the bun. Then its back to being a number. Nothing unique. Nothing significant. Just another lonely soldier in the battlefield.

This is the life I have chosen. And I'm going to accept that. I want to carry that weight all by myself. Its going to make me a stronger person in the end. I have a destination to get to, after all this. What kind of person would I be if I were to bail or complained and moaned all the way? Though I am the same under the uniform I will not be a number.

Life and Times of Cadet Toyoda vol. 2

Just only last week everyone at ROTC HQ seemed to be so "uptight".

"The Brigade Commander and Sergent Major are coming!" said one of the Cadre.

Apparently these high ranking officers were going to come and inspect how thing are "going down" here in Eastern. I thought: "Great a couple of high ranks visiting schools to have people kiss their keister". Honestly I was in no mood to deal with any of that. So, I also thought to myself : "I just go to class and stay indoors all day." Ironically, as soon as I thought that, I heard my name was called. And it was one of the Cadre. He told me that I was "invited" to eat lunch with....you guessed it the Brigade Commander and Sergent Major. All the other cadets who were called were all excited. I was not. Now I get to bask in their "glorious"ambiance. Believe me I did not look forward to it but since free food was being involved, I just put on the mind set that its all for the food. All for the food.

So I went. So you must be thinking "this is the part where she admits it wasn't bad at all."Well....no. It was seriously that bad. Now I will admit that the Officers weren't THAT bad. The bad part was being first in line to get the food. When I got my food I noticed that the other cadets and cadre were standing in an "at ease position" and listening to the commander talk. I didn't know to go to my table or just stand there. I started to sweat in places I didn't even know I could. So I did what any uptight person would do. Stand and pay attention to what she was talking about (while drooling over the food). After what felt like eternity, but really, 3 minutes, she finally noticed that I was standing like a total moron and said: "go ahead dear" and smiled.

PHEW! I was even afraid to eat. I know smiles are suppose to be comforting but it really kick the tension up three notches. Then after everyone was done getting there food and sat down that when the crappy part happened. Talking. Yes the movement of mouths with sound coming out of them. And too much of it. That's all the officers did was talk and talk and talked some more. The Sergent Major must of been from Alabama, because I'm not fluent in Hill-Billy. The Brigade Commander was a women and us women are good at talking. Its our forte.

Finally, what seemed to be eternity but really an hour and a half of listening to blabbering , we were dismissed. Too bad for me, I was late for my military science 101 class with one of the most uptight asshole of a Staff Sergent. Well I got what came for me. Which was a scold and a dirty look.

This ROTC stuff, honestly is really starting to get to me. Now don't get me wrong I like it but then again I dislike it.....its complicated.

The Life and Times of Cadet Toyoda Vol. 1

When you join a branch of any military, not only will you gain the proper principles to be a United States solider but you gain this incredible sense of pride that you never knew existed.

Now, in my honest opinion I believe there are two classes of pride. One I would like to call True Pride and the other ego.

Here is an example of True Pride (true story):

Today, after a completely exhausting Ranger's Challenge training I was told that I needed some "equipment" for my "ruck sack". For we were going to go "rucking" on Thursday....As I gathered all my supplies for thursday at the ROTC Hq, I remembered that I needed to walk all the long way back to the comfort of my dorm room....I could of waited for the other cadets to notice that I was "struggling" to carry all my chattel. No! I thought I will walk ALL THE WAY. As finally reached my destination point I realized that I could take the elevator to the 5th floor of where my dorm room is. After pondering that thought for really, an unnecessary amount of time, I took the stairs. When I reached the 3 floor one of the ROTC cadets appeared as if out of nowhere. He approached me and asked how was Rangers training. Then he asked if I needed help as he took ahold my sleeping bag. I immediately yanked it out of his big hand and replied that I am going to be fine. Finally I reached the 5th floor. But alas, my room was on the other side of the long hallway. So I walked. It may seem as simple as that but, it really wasn't...

When I entered the room I throw all my material down and crashed. As I laid on my bed, I realized something. "I wouldn't have done any of this if it wasn't for the new gained pride I just received from joining the military."

Now ego....Well lets just give you a simple equation: EGO=Kanye West.

And that I believe speaks for itself.

And that is they say is that.